Reprinted with permission from the 2013 Big Special Holiday Issue Double Toe Times Clogging Magazine
As part of the CLOG, Inc. National Clogging Convention, held each year over Thanksgiving weekend, the instructors join in the show that is presented on Saturday evening. Show coordinator Dustin Stephan asked me and Naomi Pyle if we would sing a Christmas song, but instead we asked if we could work up a skit. We re-wrote the classic poem “T’was the Night Before Christmas” and added references to many of the instructors on staff that weekend. Many asked for a transcript, so please enjoy this light-hearted retelling. Jeff Driggs said the lines in red (odd numbered sets), and Naomi Pyle said the lines in green (even sets), and together they recited the lines in blue.
‘Twas the night before Christmas, in the valleys and hills
Not a creature was clogging, not even Scotty Bilz;
The clog shoes were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that Carl’s Clogging could re-sole and re-pair;
The cloggers were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Missy’s class danced in their heads;
And me in my nightie, (which means only a smile),
Had just written a new dance by “Miss Naomi Pyle”,
When out on the lawn there arose such a ruckus,
I thought Morgan Hudson was teaching a buck class.
Away to the window I flew in a rush,
But stopped for a second to Double-Toe Brush.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
(I just said “moon” and “breast” haha)
Okay, Okay… on with the show,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Stan Webb with Santa, and eight tiny reindeer,
With a little old driver, so lively and fun,
I knew in a moment it must be Blake Dunn.
More rapid than double-double’s they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and cued them by name;
“Now, Andy! now, Jamie! now, Janice and Shane!
On, David and Susan, who are holding the reigns!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dance away! dance away! dance away all!”
So up to the house-top the cloggers they pranced,
Santa unloaded the toys, while Stan and Blake danced.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The dancing and pawing of Nick and Koziuk.
As I drew in my head, and looking for Dustin,
Down the chimney ole St. Nicholas came a bustin.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his joggers,
And he kick up his heels like the Bailey Mountain Cloggers;
A bundle of syllabus he had flung on his back,
And he handed them out helped by Rob and Melissa Pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, he was as cute as Miss Sherry!
His droll little mouth drawn up – yeah like UBER,
And the beard of his chin was as white as Shane Gruber;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his lips,
He really thought he was ALL THAT and some chips;
He had a broad face and a little round tummy,
That shook, when he laughed like a frightened Chip Summey.
He was chubby and plump, and his belt was quite big,
And I laughed when I saw him, and thought of Jeff Driggs;
A wink of his eye, like he was happy to meet ya,
Soon gave me to know he had danced with Dalita;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then bent over and TWERKED,
And laying his finger aside of his smeller,
he got dragged up the chimney, by Ann Marie and her fellers;
He sprang to his sleigh, and his team headed South,
cause they’d spent too much time, eh, with Judy Waymouth.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“A Clogging Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”